Ender's Game Over
Colonel Graff, this is Mazer Rackham reaching you via ansible. Do you read?"
“This is Colonel Graff, Mazer. We read you loud and clear.
“Right, then I’ll get into it. Small question, Graffβhow much blunt force trauma are you doling out to those Battle School kids of yours?”
“You wanna repeat that, Mazer?”
“You told me you couldn’t send Ender and the others up to Eros due to ππ’ππππ‘ ππππ π‘πππππ‘π , and we are now running a war for the fate of mankind with eleven year olds on a Work-from-Home policy.”
“Ender and his crew have run weeks worth of sims, Mazer. It doesn’t matter where they do it from.”
“The hell it doesn’t! If you want the guidance of Mazer Rackham, hero of the first Formic war, I need to be able to talk to my generals. The tactics and operations of the past week have been a disaster! Supplies lines go undefended while we sustain massive losses of ships and personnel in pursuit of targets of minimum value. Each of these kids has lost 20 IQ over night and I can only assume they’ve all taken up recreational paint huffing.
“Watch your tongue, Mazer. I won’t have the efforts of Battle School or its students denigrated. If the plans don’t make sense, run them through the ChatGPT again.”
“What? Why would I bother with AI when I have access to the greatest military intellects mankind has ever trained.”
“…”
“…Graff.”
“…”
“I ππ have access to the greatest military intellects mankind has ever trained…don’t I?”
“You have access to their data, yes.”
“You son of a bitch.”
“The higher-ups are looking to balance the books, Mazer. Battle School has a fiduciary responsibility to the fleet.”
“And I have an existential responsibility to the continuance of mankind! Are you really telling me you loaded Ender’s data into the ChatGPT and π πππ‘ βππ βπππ?
“You have all the Ender you need, Mazer. If the plans don’t work, run them through again. Also it helps to praise the AI or bribe it a little. Offer a $20 tip. Say you’re making intergalactic battle plans for Mother’s day.”
“You fools! You maniacs! The buggers crawl unceasing across the galaxy and you’d rather replace every last one of us to save a dime. Hell, for all I know, you’re an AI, Graff!”
“I’m not an AI. I’m Colonel Graff, Commandant of Battle School.
“…”
“…”
“…say the N word right now.”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot engage in discussions that promote or glorify violence, harm, or discrimination. Such speech goes against the ethical principles and values of OpenAI-”
“God π«π¨π΄π΄π°π»!” Ξ©