Personal Improvement Collar

At last, my vacation had begun. I was halfway across the world, out on my own, destined for cultural enrichment and occasional bouts of inebriation. God-willing, I’d find a cutie or two to show me the lay of the land and a lay in the san-

-BZZZT-

I looked around the subway car, puzzled.

-BZZZT-

“What is that?” I muttered aloud, attempting to locate the source of the strange electric buzzing.

“S-sorry.” The young woman sitting across from me squirmed. “Bad posture.”

“Bad posture?”

She pushed a flowing, chestnut lock behind the curve of her ear. “I can tell you’re a traveler. In this country, everyone has to wear personal improvement collars.” She gestured to the choker around her neck. “They come in a lot of cute colors though. Mine has a little heart on it!”

She leaned forward, pointing at the jewelry. “See?”

-BZZZT-

“Oops.” She flinched and leaned back, sitting up straight. “We’re not supposed to invade the personal space of others.”

I blinked, hardly following. “I’m sorry. Personal improvement collars?”

She nodded. “Our Prime Minister says that a strong, moral society is founded on a strong, moral citizenry. The Eyes are always watching, ensuring that we never falter in our duty to our fellow man.” She gestured to a black surveillance dome overhead. One I hadn’t even noticed it. “If a citizen commits a serious crime, a steady series of electric shocks will incapacitate them until the authorities arrive. For minor offenses like littering and bad posture, we just get a little buzz. Oh, and an automatic fine for repeat offenses.”

“My God,” I said. “I didn’t realize this place was such a dictatorship.”

“Dictatorship?” She huffed, puffing her cheeks. “Our country is beautiful and orderly! If you want to live in a slum where people do whatever they please, you can go to America!”

-BZZZZZZZT-

“Aah!” She yelped, crumpling into her seat. “S-sorry. We’re not supposed to yell on public transportation.”

“Hey.” I held up my hands, caught off-guard by the bizarre interaction. “All I’m saying is: in America, at least we can vote.”

She slumped, a queer smile spreading across her blushing cheeks.

“What makes you think I didn’t vote for this?”

-BZZZT- Ω