Dragonball P

Goku saddles up to the urinal. “Hey Vegeta buddy. How’s it hangin’?”

Vegeta grimaces. “One stall rule, Kakarot.”

“Ah come on, buddy. We’re pissin’ pals!”

“We’re no such thing! I, the Prince of All Saiyans, stand unrivaled, royal staff in hand, equal to no on-”

ZIP

FLOP

Goku grins. “You were saying something, bestest buddy?”

“Hrng.” Vegeta scowls. “Regardless, Kakarot, what mockery is this?” He gestures to Goku’s crotch.

Goku starts pissing. “Huh?”

“When did you start buying Gi’s with zippers?”

“Oh. Well, actually-”

“A true saiyan warrior has no need for ridiculous human gizmos like zippers and buttons. A rod like ours is fit only to be cradled by the finest elastic Saiyan textiles.”

“Actually, Bulma installed it for me.”

“…”

“She’s been trying to get me to wear a zipper for 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠.”

“…”

“You okay buddy? Your stream’s getting a little weak-”

“My stream is never weak!” The proud saiyan’s stream intensifies, pelting the porcelain like a firehose.

“Nice!” Goku intensifies his own stream. Droplets spays everywhere. “Hey Vegeta, I’ve always wondered.”

“What?!” Vegeta snaps, radiating with ki.

“How 𝑑𝑜 you get it out?”

“Eh? What’s that?”

“You know, your thing? Cuz you’re always wearing full body Spanx…”

“These are not Spanx!” Vegeta’s stream weakens. “This is the uniform of a proud Saiyan warrior!”

“I don’t know, buddy. Chi Chi buys a lot of spanx these days, cause she’s getting a ‘GILF ass’, and from where I’m standing, I’m seeing Spanx.”

“It’s not Spanx! These are proud saiyan pants, with a proud Saiyan gusset!”

“A gusset?” Goku tilts his head. “I thought that was something you eat.”

“That’s a goose, you idiot.”

“Or a movie actor.”

“That’s a Gosling!”

“A Gosling isn’t a goose?”

“No!”

“Wow,” Goku marvels.

“A gusset is a fabric panel over the crotch. See?”

Goku leans to look. “Wow. Nice balls, buddy.”

“Grrr.” Vegeta turns his shoulder, aiming at the far corner of his urinal. “Besides Kakarot, you wore this uniform for a year in the hyperbolic time chamber. Back when we fought Cell.”

“Well, yeah…”

“Don’t tell me you took the whole thing off every time you had to go.”

“Nah.” Goku shrugs. “I just pissed myself.”

Vegeta’s stream dwindles. “…𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵.”

“Well, you know. I had to keep training.”

Vegeta staggers. 𝑈𝑛𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒. 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝐼, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑆𝑎𝑖𝑦𝑎𝑛𝑠, ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑢𝑝 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑛, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑠!

“No, I don’t believe it!” Vegeta turns, his little prince dangling. “Kakarot! Are you telling me you wet yourself for a whole year in the hyperbolic time chamber?!”

“Oh yeah,” Goku says. “And when I got home, Chi Chi was 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅.” Ω¹